


Martyrdom For Dummies

by TheVagabondBoy



Series: Shoot the Sunshine into My Veins [11]
Category: Daredevil (TV), The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Churches & Cathedrals, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, M/M, Sad, Sad Frank, construction worker Frank, during season 3 of Daredevil, pre-season 1 of The Punisher, pre-season 3 of Daredevil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-08-19 06:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16528889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVagabondBoy/pseuds/TheVagabondBoy
Summary: Church is the place to go, he supposes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [UmiAzuma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmiAzuma/gifts).



> now im sad

Frank had a good routine. Routine was the key to recovery. He'd heard that somewhere. Routine, keeping busy, keeping his head occupied, that was good.

He got up in the morning. Showered, ate, went to work, worked all day, worked as far into the night as he could, church on the way home, eat, read, sleep.

Repeat.

A good, steady, unchangable routine.

It left his body tired and his brain empty, and that was good. It didn't leave him with enough time or energy to think too much, feel too much. That was good. Always good. He didn't want to think or feel.

*

"Father?"

Lantom hummed.

They sat on the front pew. It was long past mass but Lantom didn't make Frank leave. Matt had told him about Frank before. He knew Frank was grieving.

"You think he got to Heaven?"

Lantom took a deep breath.

"I hope he did. But if I'm gonna be honest... No. No, I don't think so."

Frank swallowed. Matt deserved Heaven.

"Warriors of God rarely get to meet the man. But Matt knew where he was headed. He made his peace with it."

Frank nodded.

He knew that. He knew Matt had made his peace with it, but... Frank hadn't. Frank hadn't made his peace with it. Frank would never make peace with it.

Matt deserved Heaven. Frank didn't believe in any of it, but Matt did. All Matt did was try to be good and do good. He only tried to help people. Wasn't that enough to earn him a place beyond the pearly gates? Wasn't that enough?

Frank looked up as he heard a door open. A nun appeared at the edge of the pews, a tentative smile on her face.

"Father, he's awake again." she said softly.

"I'll be there in a moment, Sister." Lantom replied and the nun hurried away again. "Sorry. It's one of the kids. His damn fever won't break. Keeps him going in and out of conciousness."

Frank nodded. "Yeah. Go. They need you." he mumbled. "You... You mind if I stay a lil' while longer?"

Lantom patted his shoulder as he got up. "Not at all. Take your time."

Lantom left the same way the nun had.

Frank sat back. He looked up at the altar, at the crucifix.

Why didn't Matt call? Why didn't he ask for help? And why was Frank stupid enough to do as he was told and stay away? Why didn't he run headlong into the battle right next to Matt?

Why was he left behind again?

Frank lit a candle for Matt, then left.

Stick to the routine.


	2. Chapter 2

Frank lit candles for everyone.

Maria, Lisa, Junior, Matt.

He bowed his head in respect. If he believed in God, maybe he would have prayed for their souls.

“Excuse me?”

Frank turned to the voice, stepping away from the candles quickly.

“Sorry, Sister. I was just leavin’. I’ll be outta your way.”

“No, wait.” the nun said, grabbing his arm as he went to leave.

Frank stopped.

“You’re Frank Castle, right?” she asked.

Frank swallowed. “Got the wrong guy, Sister. Pete Castiglione.”

The nun only smiled. She released his arm.

“He said you might say that.”

Frank frowned. Who said? Only the Father knew, and he was pretty sure Matt had told him during confessions. How would the nun know?

“Come with me.” she said. “I think it’s best if he explains for himself.”

Frank hesitated. He didn’t like this. But...it was a  _ nun, _ right? What would he have to fear from a nun? He took a deep breath and nodded. The nun smiled. She gestured for him to follow.

They went through a door in the side of a chapel. They moved swiftly through the guts of the church, down the stairs, into the basement. She opened a cast iron gate and lead him further down. Where were they going?

She stopped him at the foot of the stairs. She wasn’t smiling any longer.

“I need you to understand that... He was barely alive when he got here. We kept him in the hospital wing of the orphanage but the kids started asking questions so we had to move him. He’s still... He’s still recovering. Please. Be gentle with him.”

Frank’s brows furrowed. What the hell was going on? Who was she talking about?

They moved again. They stepped into a dimly lit crypt. A washing machine rumbled at the far end. As they drew closer, Frank saw a bed. He saw the person laying in the bed.

His heart dropped, his stomach flip-flopped.

Matt?


	3. Chapter 3

Matt. Matt was _here._ Matt was _right here._ He was alive and _he was right here._

Frank was at his side in seemingly the blink of an eye. He was on his knees beside the bed, taking Matt's hand as gently as he could.

He could feel the tears roll down his cheeks but he didn't care. All he cared about was Matt.

"I'm sorry he's not awake to see you." the nun said softly somewhere behind him. "He's still in and out. He'll probably wake up again soon."

Frank nodded. He wiped his cheeks and pressed a kiss to Matt's knuckles.

"Ho-... How?" he asked, voice hoarse with shock. "How's he here? Wh-What happened?"

The nun kneeled beside him. She rested her hand on Frank's back.

"Midland Circle." she said. "The building collapsed on him. God knows how he survived. A taxi driver found him by a spill pipe. Said he was awake enough to ask to be brought here. We've taken care of him as best we can."

He nodded again. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Matt's face.

He looked so peaceful as he slept, even with all his scrapes and bruises. Frank couldn't wait until he woke up, until he could hear Matt's voice again, hug him again, kiss him again.

The grief that had sat like a rock in his chest melted. It melted away and poured out of him, leaving him with only relief and love more intense than he ever thought possible. He couldn't believe this was happening, that this was real life.

Matt came back to him. _He came back._ After all this grief and this pain, _Matt came back._ After Frank was so sure that he had finally been broken far beyond repair, _Matt came back._

"He says your name in his sleep sometimes."

Frank swallowed. He leaned over the bed, resting his head against Matt's side.

"He doesn't say much, but... I've heard your name once or twice."

Frank knew he was in no position to ask anything more of the Universe than what he had already been so generously given, but he still wished so dearly that Matt would just wake up right then. Just long enough to see that Frank was there with him, by his side, after all that happened. Just long enough to let him know that he wasn't alone, that he still had Frank on his side and at his side.


End file.
